1st October 2011

A day left in Miri where I'll be going to an oil palm mill to work. Yes, I'm hired but it's not permanent since it's a 6 months probation.

So, I won't be able to online or do whatsoever on my laptop other than watching movies that I've downloaded. A mixed feeling really, at once I'm feeling excited going but I'm nervous in a way too because it's been a year since I've graduated and not dealing with engineering work since.

It'll be a challenge for me and hopefully I can do what I can or know. Dealing with people is another thing.

So yeah, at least it's a new start now with the hope of liking the job and the people there. My heart tells me otherwise. Anyway, I'll do what I can.

It's 2 hours drive from Miri town, so it's quite a far into the jungle area. Well, probably not a jungle but a flat plantation. Maybe I'll be back every weekend, which I hope it will be. Hah~

Even if this blog is dead, at least I'm updating it before it really goes dead forever now. Who knows I'll be blogging back again during the weekends. Maybe not so often though.

May God lead me through this job of mine. =)

I envy people with happy family. That happiness, it's almost transparent for me now. I never seen any of it since I was a kid. Yes, there are times that things going good.

But it doesn't last long. Every single month, it always happens. Till now, it still happens.

How I always wish I would have a proper family.

Now, when things happened I'm to be blamed. And it will always be me.

Help wasn't being appreciated. No one listens to me as if I'm transparent. I'm the bad guy now. And, my bad temper is back.

Facing cell group members or the church, it's almost fake as if I'm happy. But inside, nothing.

However I wished, it would become worst day by day.

It has been a while now. Sometimes things aren't seem good, sometimes it's a blessing. It has been 2 weeks and I'm started to think what is the point to come back.

Somehow, when I looked at myself I was like, What? I just did that? In a way, things are not easy at the moment. Trying to help out, but things are rather complicated. Am I selfish?

Seeing myself on the road, it's like I'm getting worst and worst day by day. Can I even have a peace at heart for a while so that I don't think and worried too much?

God spoken through my friends tonight and it struck me. I don't know how I felt honestly, but I know if I don't change now and forever be this way no one would ever look on to you for help since I can't help myself now.

Anyway, it's something that I need to release telling it out. Still, a question pop out from a cell group member. What's you plan tomorrow? Next month? These are the things that I need to know. Otherwise, I'll be in a wrong direction.

Or should I wait for God's answer? Sigh...

Oh Lord, work into my life. I'm still clueless of the things I did and for the things I wanted to do.

T_T

?1

Is it me or is it the hit counter shoot up till 99,236??!!

Scary!

Wah!!

Few months passed and I don't remember how long I've not been updating my blog. It's dead! =.=

Anyway, thing have been just okay in Miri. Joined new church and still getting to know the people. As usual, I don't talk very well. Not face to face though. Haha...

KaiSeng, wanted me to update to I'll be updating a little bit. Cause nothing really happen in my life since I came back here.

Church was okay for now. Have been joining the cell group and trying to get to know more of the people. The church member are very friendly to me and I'm surprised that for the churches I've been, this is the best so far. Of course, I'm not judging about the other church of being not good. I'm just saying it's suitable for me. :)

Chinese New Year was awesome. Been spending a lot times together with my family since my sister is back together for reunion dinner. Lots of laughter and joke all around.

Jobs? I haven't really start to apply yet cause there's still things that I might need to settle. Some people might know about this. But, some don't know. So it's complicated. xD

I'm going to try to apply for one of the oil and gas company in Miri since one of my church member is in the company asking me to write-in. So, I hope my poor results doesn't scare them away. Haha~

Well, that's all I suppose. Anything interesting I will try to update more.

God bless everyone. ^.^

Didn't really update my blog so much lately. Just that my life has been just boring. Nothing much is happening. Everything is just the same routine all the time.

Getting back to Miri is like sleeping. When you started to get comfortable, you don't feel like waking up to do something different. You'll just lay down on the bed, slacking.

Usually, I would get homesickness when I'm staying in KL. But I've found the life that I wanted there. I miss being there with friends.

Now, when I'm back in Miri I just don't feel like staying here. When you're somewhere out there but not in your own home, your parents would nag everyday on asking you to come back home. Then again, once you're back home, they also nag nonstop since they are talking in front of you.

I was like, what is this? I don't come back, you kept nagging asking me to come back. Now when I'm back home, you kept on nagging also. =.="

But all is fine, and I know it's for my own good. Parents do nag, and when you become a parent you will nag towards your children too. xD

Somehow, I just don't see the point of coming back in Miri other than seeing my parents. Even coming back here, I have to think about the personal problem in the family that I'm facing. Whatever happens, it will just make me feel miserable. Emo!

Things happened, and I asked my friend about this. Why do I have this kind of problem? It's not about once or twice, but for my whole life. But my friend told me this, "Count your blessings!".

One thing I'm happy of is, I get to meet up my old friends. Talk nonstop together and laughter. This is one blessing, this should be enough for now. In this life, be grateful and whatever happens it would be just a temporary matter.

Another thing is, about the church. Somehow, I'm not that happy about it. Just felt left out by the church members. My teacher, who is also the church member told me that everyone thought that I'm from KL. =.=

But of course, one of my biggest disadvantage is not being initiative enough to communicate. Recently, I've kept everything to myself. Somehow, my heart was 'closed'. I'm not that happy. But of course, I'm still in need of God's guidance.

Whatever happens for the days to come, I hope I'm able to go through it. With God's grace, I'm sure everything will be okay.

May God bless everyone! Make your life full of joy! Christmas is coming and let's celebrate the birth of Our Lord Jesus Christ!

Lastly, I miss speaking in English. xD

Had a chat with friends tonight. Felt that I'm back in KL. xD

Really missed the time in KL though.

Today after Sunday service, I went for refreshment and had a fellowship together with new people. Honestly, I don't really felt at ease yet. I'm still trying to adapt.

And it's also the first time after a month, the Pastor came talking to me. :)

He intro to me a group leader of a cell group and exchanging numbers together. Still, in the church now I only know 3 to 4 people other than my teacher and her son.

Let see how it goes for the month to come.

Job hunting has currently stopped and I'm still looking forward to return back to KL. Had just applied for Shell this afternoon. Just trying my luck on it for now. :)

God bless everyone. :)

Miri

2 weeks I'm back in Miri. Lack of updates here. Not happening much either. Just work and all. Still helping my dad around at the office. Were busy some of the times but also there's boring time.

Have been thinking about how would my life goes. Not sure when to go back KL, or stay in Miri permanently. Still waiting for the answer.

The church I went was okay. Not used to the Methodist style. Still, I love how it was done in the church I went in KL. Miss the friends in KL too. Also, frisbee. I hardly get any work out since I got back. Being in the office with work really makes me tired.

Once off office hour, went back home straight. Didn't go for any exercises. I don't even know who is in Miri. The other day I was holding this frisbee disk that I bought last year. I went to the backyard and threw. No one to play with. How sad.

Anyway, still deciding on my job here. Until something is settled maybe I'll consider going back to KL again. :)

ConneXion Semenyih, miss you guys a lot.

God bless!

Yesterday was in Semenyih, today I’m in Miri

So, finally the day where I’m going back to my hometown Miri. Honestly, it felt weird going back home.

Used to stayed in Semenyih already and I don’t really miss my hometown at all for the past few months. Maybe I’m enjoying too much here.

One part of the things that I enjoyed here was hanging out with the ConneXion Semenyih gang. Other than that, going to church and praising God. That’s what I’m enjoying the most.

Holy Spirit is working through us all, guiding the people around and telling them how Great Our God is.

In Miri, I’ve never been a permanent church member. You’ll either see me this week and probably not in the next few weeks. Now, I’m telling this to myself “I will serve God where ever I go”.

Good luck to everyone on their starting of the academic year and hopefully I’ll see you all back here again. I started to miss everyone already.

It’s sad, but I have to go back seeing the condition, and depended on God. Whether I’ll stay in Miri or KL, I’m still waiting for God’s answer.

Love you guys always! Keep it up and spread the word of God!

Last week in West Malaysia

So, it’s finally the last week in West Malaysia. Had a lot of fun with friend hanging out. Going to miss my friends here.

But of course, life moves on and I’ll see what’s coming next when I go back to Sarawak. Plenty of comfort zone in Miri, but one thing I hope is that I continue to go to church and also try to exercise more.

Church have been great, learn a lot of things and of course made a lot of new friends although I’m much older than the youth.

Wanted to take this opportunity to thank my friends for guiding me all the while. I know it’s too early to write this but it’s been so long that I never update my blog.

And also, wanted to apologize for the emo-ness post earlier. xD

Of course, with God’s blessing I will see what comes ahead of me and thankful for that.

God bless everyone and hoping you all will do well in studies and career.

A day without doing anything useful

It’s a rainy day.

Woke up quite early because of my phone’s alarm. Snoozing it quite a few times. Hm, wait I snoozed my phone from 9am till 10am. Adui~ xD

The actual plan for today was to go to Lowyat. But turns out raining earlier and change the plan to Sunday.

Does any of you ever thought of why something happened on you? As in, if something happened do you turn to God askin why it happened or do you turn to yourself asking was it your fault?

A question that’s have been in my mind for quite sometime already.

Windows Live Messenger 2011 Beta

I’m using one of the application that is an option to download and install. I’m trying out now to post this up and see if it stays the same or whatsoever.

Cheers~

UPDATE:

Voila~ I’m using it now and this is my post! This is fun! xD

By the way, this application is called Windows Live Writer Beta! Try it.

I don't understand sometimes when people come chatting with me, they always involve "money". It involves my financial status which include my family background.

Sincerely speaking, I've always hated people always said something like "Wah, so rich!" Or, "Your dad sure sponsor one la!", Or "Don't act la!". You think everything can be solve with money is it?! Grow up la!

IF I am THAT RICH, I wouldn't be seeing you here in Malaysia for 3 years. Some even went to UK to study and where am I? I'm in MALAYSIA! I have difficulties myself which people don't understand. Why wouldn't you said something like that to those who bought a lot of stuff, without thinking of their own financial background?

I work, I earn my own money. I don't depend on other people. I went looking for job, I have to think of the expenses. I buy stuffs for breakfast, lunch or dinner, I have to think of how much is the food! Do you think I'm like some who spend their money without thinking of how hard my parents earn that money?

I did that all the time! To release my parents burden I have to think of other ways to reduce the expenses. Why don't you call those big tycoon boss as rich people rather than splatting you words at me saying me this and that?

I'm just trying to say that I don't want to burden my parents with money now by borrowing money to buy a transportation or something else here in KL. I would rather earn my own money to buy one!

Again, I am not acting being poor or anything! I'm just thinking on behalf of my family financial background. I just wanted to humble myself but still some still wanted to throw everything at me.

If I offended anyone here, you think for yourself here. I respect everyone but you who said me that way.

Well, it's decided. I'm going back on 8th October. Wasn't a sudden plan though because I have been thinking quite a lot. Since my dad wanted me to go back, then I have no other choice.

I can imagine when I go back, "What would I do? Which church I'm going? Will I find any jobs in Miri?" The first thing is most probably stay at home until any of my friends call me out. Well, that is IF I have any friends. Do I?

A lot of questions in my mind. Booked MAS Airline because I love the architecture of KLIA. Blah~ Just kidding. It's just the service I love about it. Not saying I'm rich or something, but it's the cheap fare.

Have a doubt on getting myself an iPod Touch 4G. Still deciding on getting one or not. xD

For the pass few weeks, I've been thinking whether I should go back to Miri or not. I still wanted to stay in KL and look for job. But, since graduated for 3 months I only got 4 calls. I guess that's a lot better than no one call me. HaHa!

It's been a dilemma case. I've been staying in Semenyih for too long.

Going back to Miri, there's definitely a car for me but no place to go. Unlike KL, no car but plenty of places to go.

Sigh, I still can't decide.

All the years of studying, I'm not sure if it's enough for me to earn back that much money in a short period of time. I know it's impossible unless I really think of some other thing to earn back the money that my dad spent on me.

Graduated yes, but then looking for the job I wanted is hard. KL, maybe not the place for me to look for job even though there's public transportation provided. Honestly, I hate the KTM train service. Inefficient!

Delayed for most of the time, and that's what they are famous for. Even the air conditioning doesn't work some of the time. The worst experience I had is the trip to Klang. From Mid Valley train station to KL Central, the train came without air conditioning.

Imagine the train is full of people, and full of body contact with each other. Plus, no air conditioning. With only that one station stop, my shirts are wet! Even one of the American tourist was complaining and said "This is ridiculous!".

That is not a good impression towards Malaysia.

Anyway, this is one of the thing that Malaysia need to change. Efficiency, and it is important!

I have nothing to write about, heh~ One story to another. Love to do typing, and that is why some times I like to chat with friends. :)

I........... don't know what to say! Heh~

Honestly, I don't know what to write about. Just, another random post which I have no idea of writing. xD

It has been the third month after finishing my degree. After struggling I finally get to graduate. Grateful to Our Father In Heaven. I have never thought I could have finish my studies in KL.

Seriously, it is hard. Regretting for not getting second upper is pointless now. I'm grateful that I've been improving since year 1. My average increases bit by bit. I'm proud of that. :) God is in control.

Now, I'll be staying in KL for a while on looking for a job here. I'm still jobless but trying hard to find one. Been in the first interview, and that is something good where we learn to talk.

Learnt something from the interview:

1. Never say, "I don't know." This is a very very very bad answer. Advised by Adam.

2. Think before you answer, take your time.

3. Be confident with your answer even if you think it's a little boasting.

4. Always have the will to learn everything since study and work is 2 different thing. (My opinion though)

These few days, I've been thinking of going back to Miri. I do miss Miri sometimes, but not as much as before already. But, until I get my job maybe then I'll go back. If things doesn't go well, I will be back in Miri.

Summer holiday have been really boring besides on going to church. Still trying to get through my lazy attitude, and this morning I've at least done something. I've cleaned my toilet. xD

Nothing to be proud of, but I just knew that having to do something is fun and at least it's meaningful. :)

God bless everyone.

Sometimes we all tend to think, Why does this happen to me? I have always ask this myself non-stop since I was a kid. Well, only some of you know what really happen. Thanks for listening.

There's a lot of other people having the worst situation than us. I always have this selfish thinking of myself because a lot of other people having a good family and all. But I never think about other people who have never known their loved ones. Who have never spend more time like I have.

Yes, we are selfish at a time when we're down and frustrated. Every family have their difficulties in life. All this happen with a reason and I am very sure of that. And of course we have to believe in why God gave us this path. Strength to deal with that matter.

Okay, I sounded weird now. I don't really know what I'm writing already. But what I'm trying to say is, things happen for a reason, and we should appreciate everything what is in front of us. Regretting will be useless because it already happened. We have to be strong, and appreciate.

Trips

Last week, Adam and I went to Ipoh and came back to Semenyih on Thursday. Went to Klang and came back on Sunday. It was a happening week! It was fun.

We did go-kart at Ipoh, and we were drifting! It was fun drifting on the corners!! Hehe!! And we had lots of food. Non-stop eating! It is fun trying out new food.

Klang's bak kut teh is nice! Especially the dry bak kut teh. Never did like bak kut teh back at my hometown Miri. But Klang's bak kut teh is a lot better.

There's too much of things on the trip. All I can say is fun and exciting!! xD

Today is one of the happening day too. Me, Adam, Audri and his brother went to KLCC for a stroll. Looking up to the tall buildings, I told myself that we should appreciate having to be able to walk and see the scenery. :)

Convocation is coming. Don't really looking forward to it that much. But, it's a blessing that I'm able to finish my degree although with my lousy results. Sigh. But, praise the Lord that I've overcome! :)

God bless everyone!