I envy people with happy family. That happiness, it's almost transparent for me now. I never seen any of it since I was a kid. Yes, there are times that things going good.

But it doesn't last long. Every single month, it always happens. Till now, it still happens.

How I always wish I would have a proper family.

Now, when things happened I'm to be blamed. And it will always be me.

Help wasn't being appreciated. No one listens to me as if I'm transparent. I'm the bad guy now. And, my bad temper is back.

Facing cell group members or the church, it's almost fake as if I'm happy. But inside, nothing.

However I wished, it would become worst day by day.